Sunday, January 31, 2010

Bunch Of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger

CORNISH, NH—In this big dramatic production that didn't do anyone any good (and was pretty embarrassing, really, if you think about it), thousands upon thousands of phonies across the country mourned the death of author J.D. Salinger, who was 91 years old for crying out loud. "He had a real impact on the literary world and on millions of readers," said hot-shot English professor David Clarke, who is just like the rest of them, and even works at one of those crumby schools that rich people send their kids to so they don't have to look at them for four years. "There will never be another voice like his." Which is exactly the lousy kind of goddamn thing that people say, because really it could mean lots of things, or nothing at all even, and it's just a perfect example of why you should never tell anybody anything.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

This is pretty damn funny

“… furthermore, I’d like to put forth the Federal “I’d Tap That” Initiative, allowing lonely bro’s with Cucask hair, three free cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon for every weeknight that they go to a bar, in order to develop enough ‘Liquid Courage’ to be able to go and talk to babes who are sick and tired of being in hit on by Ed Hardy bros. also: i abolish the use of the term hipster because it is outdated and meaningless. no, really, it really is.
(applause, feral whooping)
this is a generation raised on John Cusack and Lisa Loeb. i mean, jesus christ, did anyone see Garden State? that movie was fucking awful. men: buck the fuck up and get your hands dirty once in a while and stop whining about feelings. women: chill out, oh my god, having a penis is like having Gilbert Gottfried as an inner monologue, just chill out, we’ll work it out, i love you, we love you. just relax a little and maybe once a month allow us to pretend that your boobs are indeed radio dials - because that joke will never get old, i swear, as President Of The United States.
(further applause, Slash plays a short guitar solo, 1991 Axl Rose wails something unintelligible about ‘Healthcaaaaaaaaarrrrrrre’)
my fellow Americans, thank you for your time.
(deafening applause, Obama exits on rope swing to theme from Pirates Of The Caribbean, congressman paint faces and have food fight)
- Barack Obama, State Of The Union (Directors Cut)

From BonerParty

Internet fancies

Up in the air

kinda cool. more here.

for brrrd

lee perry

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

WTF Photos From The Past

more photos here

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Cosmos is Within Us

my favorite, MC Sagan

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Barn Owl

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Help for Haiti

One of my faves

Before she became the size of Rhode Island.

one day they will come back for us

Monday, January 18, 2010


Sunday, January 17, 2010

Friday, January 15, 2010

Thursday, January 14, 2010

turner and bowie tonight

There are at least three amazing things about this video. Can you name them all?

Lost Cat

R.I.P Teddy

You are so beautiful...... to me

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

conan knows best

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.



What a stand up dude!

jeremy geddes art

Monday, January 11, 2010

"You don’t have to be overly macho. You don’t have to be over-complimentary. Gain her respect. And that’s treating her as an equal. Don’t bullshit her. Treat her as a human being. Treat her as you would treat yourself. As soon as you have that respect from her, she’ll treat you with the same respect that you show. Then you fuck the shit out of her." - John Curtis Holmes

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Photo by the lovely and talented Sarah Clare Cassano

illusionistic street paintings

From the land of Shaolin to Pennsylvania

Tuesday, January 5, 2010